This exact moment contains noise. There are 137 minutes to bedtime, and I wonder how many times I will hear the word "poop" from my little language learner.
Daddy and big boy are cheering for the Warriors. Bitty B is freaking out because he dropped a ball on his own face. And middle child is acting like we don't pay any attention to her (though we have read, snuggled, wrestled and we are getting ready to meet her friend for icecream and get her some stuff at Walgreens-- still not enough!) ...Oh, great, now it is half time and we are all 'required' to watch her performance. As she dances, I notice the puzzle pieces left on the ground from yesterday's big dump. Of course, I left the room for a minute and - as though he had been conspiring to do so since 5 am- B quickly dumped out five puzzles and games and mixed up all the pieces. In this moment, oldest child is getting ready to go to basketball practice-- which is slowly taking over my free time. I realized today that I have a fear of busy-ness...I get anxious when I've tried to build margin for rest into our life and our kids' needs for activity constantly force me out of the house.
This is my life. It is truly beautiful, though exhausting.
I did choose it. I do want it. (129 minutes now)
I am squeezing in my 15 minutes of writing, though my mind is distracted and I'd like to be taking a long, hot shower. I have only three more days of this exercise and I am not sure that I have anything more to say. Maybe I need to write for 30 minutes every other day instead?
The sun is setting, and my dog is scavenging for food. My family is healthy. We are safe; we have everything we need. My kids enjoy learning and playing and exploring. Still, there is whining. But, there is also laughter.
Embracing it. Stopping to hear and look and accept it. (122 minutes and counting.)
Daddy and big boy are cheering for the Warriors. Bitty B is freaking out because he dropped a ball on his own face. And middle child is acting like we don't pay any attention to her (though we have read, snuggled, wrestled and we are getting ready to meet her friend for icecream and get her some stuff at Walgreens-- still not enough!) ...Oh, great, now it is half time and we are all 'required' to watch her performance. As she dances, I notice the puzzle pieces left on the ground from yesterday's big dump. Of course, I left the room for a minute and - as though he had been conspiring to do so since 5 am- B quickly dumped out five puzzles and games and mixed up all the pieces. In this moment, oldest child is getting ready to go to basketball practice-- which is slowly taking over my free time. I realized today that I have a fear of busy-ness...I get anxious when I've tried to build margin for rest into our life and our kids' needs for activity constantly force me out of the house.
This is my life. It is truly beautiful, though exhausting.
I did choose it. I do want it. (129 minutes now)
I am squeezing in my 15 minutes of writing, though my mind is distracted and I'd like to be taking a long, hot shower. I have only three more days of this exercise and I am not sure that I have anything more to say. Maybe I need to write for 30 minutes every other day instead?
The sun is setting, and my dog is scavenging for food. My family is healthy. We are safe; we have everything we need. My kids enjoy learning and playing and exploring. Still, there is whining. But, there is also laughter.
Embracing it. Stopping to hear and look and accept it. (122 minutes and counting.)